


Observations

by rageprufrock



Category: House M.D.
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-01-09
Updated: 2010-01-09
Packaged: 2017-10-06 01:11:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,100
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/48088
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rageprufrock/pseuds/rageprufrock
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"It's part of his secret plan never to have to give me back my DVD player."</p>
            </blockquote>





	Observations

It would be irresponsible and unprofessional for a doctor to disconnect his telephone, turn off his cell, and fail to answer his pager--which Cameron assumes is the reason why she's standing on House's welcome mat, jabbing hatefully at the doorbell. Aside from the fact that it's more than a little surreal that House has a welcome mat, it's a little surreal that the person who opens the door is a disheveled, annoyed-looking Dr. Wilson, his sleeves rolled up.

Cameron blinks, twice. "Wilson," she says dumbly.

He raises his eyebrows at her. "Dr. Cameron," he says politely. "Here for House?"

She blushes. "He's--"

"Unplugged the phone, turned off his cell," Wilson says dismissively, stepping aside to let her into House' apartment, "ignoring his pager--yadda yadda yadda."

"At least he's predictable," she compromises, walking inside cautiously and looking right to left, failing to see House and spotting only a monstrous piles of tangled up wires, a twisted mass of electrical tape and evil, bunched near a DVD player. "Wow," she says.

Wilson sighs. "It's part of his secret plan never to have to give me back my DVD player," he explains, adding, "The only good to come out of it is that in tangling up all the wires, he did something wrong to his own television and erased his TiVo, so he lost like, three weeks of General Hospital."

"His life is so filled with trials," Cameron says, almost deadpan.

"Well, that Dr. House," Wilson agrees. "He'll soldier on."

"All right, stop right there," House grumbles, his signature thump-drag step breaking the relative quiet of the room. "I can see just where this is going."

"We were just saying hi," Cameron denies instantly.

Wilson rolls his eyes and puts his hands on his hips. "You turned off your cell."

House feigns innocence. "Bobby said we'd never make it past second base if you kept calling me about our purity pledge!"

"God," Wilson mutters and turns back to the DVD, curling up on the floor and picking up a pair of scissors, staring forlornly at his DVD player.

"You two are about to be like those black holes on a collision course," House says suddenly to Cameron, turning on her with surprising agility for a so-called cripple. "Only this time, instead of you know, tearing apart the fabric of the universe, you'll become best girlfriends and I'll have to kill myself," House finishes resolutely.

"I think Wilson might be missing some of the essentials for us to become best girlfriends," Cameron prevaricates and glances over to check if Wilson's as insulted by this conversation as she is--only to find him completely ignoring them, snipping determinedly away at what looks like an entire roll of black electrical tape, wrapped eagerly around dozens of knotted cords.

House thumps his cane, and when Cameron turns to face him again, he tilts his chin down and looks at her expectantly.

"You've destroyed my zen moment, Dr. Cameron--I hope you have a good reason," he says.

"Your zen moment is taping Dr. Wilson's DVD player to your house?" Cameron asks suddenly. She's always known House was cracked--she supposes she hadn't really grasped the immaturity.

"Different strokes for different folks," House lectures. "I distinctly read something about nondiscrimination based on sexual preference in the hospital guidelines--"

"Your destroying my will to live is not a sexual preference," Wilson calls out, frustrated and jerking fruitlessly at the DVD cord.

"--so I won't have you judging," House finishes primly, not bothering to look at his friend. "Now, come come--you're here for a reason. It can't just be to verify the hospital bet about me and Jimmy."

Cameron had eschewed participation when she'd first joined the staff, too intrigued by House and too eager to please to do such a thing. She knows, though, despite the fact that she and Foreman are only colleagues, that Foreman and Chase have a collective bet of well over a hundred dollars in the hospital pool. House and Wilson are hardly a foregone conclusion, Cameron tells herself again. House and Wilson aren't her foregone conclusion.

"Our patient's white count is dropping," she tells him.

"Well, they'd be dead by now," House snaps, eyes flaring in irritation. "Why didn't you call Wilson?"

"Firstly, I don't make the automatic assumption you two will be together--that would be people who have more money and better access to gossip," Cameron snaps. "Moreover, Kellerman's white count is dropping at an unusually slow pace, although it continues to drop. Chase has been calling me at five minute intervals to keep me abreast of the situation--it's strange but not deadly." Cameron pauses. "Well, yet."

"Weird," House pronounces. He turns to Wilson and says, "You should give up now. The DVD developed a very close and intimate relationship with the TiVo and they don't want to be separated."

Wilson glares and points a pair of scissors at him from the floor. Cameron's never seen Wilson in sneakers before and it's strange to see the head of oncology, curled up Indian-style on the floor, glasses askew and all out of place. She wonders what House is like, out of context, and if she will ever see it. "I'm stealing things from you," Wilson promises. "The moment you leave."

House turns to Cameron, grinning as he shrugs on a coat. "Let's go," he says.

Cameron has the feeling House' context has nothing to do with where or how but who, and like Heisenberg, it cannot be observed without fundamentally changing it. She wonders how he moves and what he does, his behavior and inclinations without exterior forces.

House hobbles out into the hallway first, and just before she walks out, a hand on the doorknob, Cameron turns back to Wilson, still on the floor of the apartment, unconcerned with being alone here in House' space and blinks in surprised realization.

"Dr. Wilson," she says.

"Hm?" he asks, glancing up at her from over his glasses, fingers meshed with the wires.

"I didn't know you went to Michigan," Cameron continues quietly.

Wilson looks down at the UMICH sweatshirt and turns back to the wires. "Oh, no. This is House'," he says distractedly, and outside, Cameron hears House yelling:

"If you two are making out, I'm going to back over both of you with the car the mob gave me!"

"Right," Cameron murmurs and shuts the door.

When she rushes out, into the cold, dark night, she sees House annoyed and bouncing next to her car and thinks she might see him entirely differently--or maybe it's just the light.


End file.
